1. What’s a boyfriend’s favorite way to travel?

Freeloading.

2. Why did the boyfriend stay in the yard all day?

Because he loves being in “ctrl.”

3. Why did the girl take her boyfriend to the gym?

So he could really let down her weights!

4. How do you save a boyfriend from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

5. What do you call a boyfriend who can cook, clean, and look good?

Hired help.

6. What do you call a boyfriend who’s lost in thought?

In unfamiliar territory.

7. What’s a boyfriend’s favorite fishing tactic?

Catch and release.

8. What did the girl say to her boyfriend when he tried to explain himself?

“Don’t bother, I’ve already read your reviews!”

9. How do you get a boyfriend to do push-ups?

Put the remote control between his toes.

10. What do you call a boyfriend who loves shopping?

Baggage.

11. Why do girlfriends prefer their boyfriends to have a sense of humor?

Because looks fade.

12. How do you get your boyfriend to do sit-ups?

Put the remote control between his toes.

13. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a calendar?

A calendar has a future.

14. What did the girl say after her boyfriend crafted her a ring?

“Is this a relationship or a DIY project?”

15. Why did the girlfriend stay with her boyfriend?

She didn’t want to lose her hairdresser.

16. Why did the girl go out with a prune?

Because she couldn’t find a date!

17. What do boyfriends and wine have in common?

They both get better with age.

18. How many boyfriends does it take to change a light bulb?

None. “I’ll do it later” never comes.

19. Why don’t boyfriends do well in high school plays?

They can’t stick to the script.

20. What did the girl say to her overconfident boyfriend?

“You’re not Google, you don’t have everything!”

21. Why do boyfriends make great pharmacists?

They know how to handle drugs.

22. What’s a boyfriend’s idea of honesty in a relationship?

Telling you his real name.

23. What do you call a boyfriend without a GPS?

Lost.

24. What did the girlfriend say after her boyfriend tried to make dinner?

“Next time, let’s eat the recipe book.”

25. What do you call a boyfriend who can’t make decisions?

Maybe.

26. Why did the girlfriend break up with the pizza maker?

He had too much crust.

27. Why do boyfriends love Google?

It thinks like they do.

28. How can you tell if your boyfriend is well-read?

He has book marks.

29. What do you call a boyfriend who never mansplains?

Educated.

30. Why did the girl take a bar of soap to her date?

She wanted a clean start.

31. Why did the boyfriend study on an airplane?

He thought he could wing it.

32. Why did the boyfriend sit at the beach?

He wanted to soak up his girlfriend’s rays.

33. Why do boyfriends make good archaeologists?

They love digging up the past.

34. Why did the boyfriend eat his clock?

He wanted to consume time.

35. How do you get your boyfriend to stop snoring?

Ask him to sleep on the couch.

36. Why did the boyfriend keep a photo of himself in his room?

So he could use it for scale in his fish stories.

37. Why did the girl bring a ladder to her date?

She heard her boyfriend was a keeper!

38. What do you call a boyfriend who can cook, clean, and do laundry?

Imaginary.

39. Why did the girlfriend make her boyfriend waterproof?

He couldn’t handle a shower of compliments.

40. What do boyfriends and fine wine have in common?

They both start out as grapes.

41. What’s a boyfriend’s version of a romantic night?

When the internet goes out.

42. What’s a girlfriend’s favorite sport?

Tracking.

43. What did the girl’s ex-boyfriend and her library book have in common?

They were both too checked out.

44. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?

Live stream it with your boyfriend!

45. What did the boyfriend say after a three-hour movie?

“So, what happened?”

46. How is a boyfriend like a QR code?

They take up space and are hard to figure out.

47. What’s a boyfriend’s idea of helping with the laundry?

Lifting his feet so you can vacuum better.

48. How is a boyfriend like a lawn sprinkler?

They’re unpredictable and usually hit everything but the right spot.

49. Why was the boyfriend studying in a vineyard?

He was trying to improve his wine-ing.

50. What did the girlfriend say when her boyfriend backed into a fan?

Disaster is a breeze.

51. How is a boyfriend like a blender?

You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

52. How do boyfriends like their eggs?

In a cake.

53. How do you keep a boyfriend from charging too much on your credit cards?

Cut him off at the cash.

54. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a savings account?

One will multiply your money, the other will divide it.

55. Why do girlfriends add “for a lifetime” to their arguments?

Because they like to keep a record of everything!

56. What’s a boyfriend’s idea of honesty?

“Yes, that dress makes you look thin.”

57. How do boyfriends stay cool in summer?

They have fans.

58. Why do boyfriends hate classical music?

They have no composition.

59. What’s a boyfriend’s favorite school subject?

Anything but “commitment 101.”

60. Why did the girlfriend give her boyfriend glue for his birthday?

She wanted him to stick around.

61. Why did the boyfriend bring string to the date?

So he could tie up loose ends.

62. Why did the girlfriend make her boyfriend wear a GPS?

Because men don’t like to ask for directions.

63. Why do boyfriends bring a broom to the date?

To sweep you off your feet.

64. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a pizza?

A pizza can satisfy you.

65. Why did the boyfriend stay home from the poker game?

His hand wasn’t the only thing broke.

66. Why do boyfriends love smart girlfriends?

Opposites attract.

67. Why did the girl ask her boyfriend for a map?

Because she got lost in his eyes.

68. What’s it called when a boyfriend remembers your anniversary?

A miracle.

69. Why did the boyfriend stare at a frozen orange juice can for hours?

Because it said “concentrate.”

70. Why did the boyfriend go to space?

To visit his personal space.

71. What do you call a boyfriend who insists on taking you back to his place on the first date?

Forward!

72. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?

“I’m stuck on you!”

73. How do boyfriends do in school?

They pass notes better than tests.

74. Why did the boyfriend sit on the clock?

He wanted to be on time for once.

75. How do boyfriends relax?

They let their minds wander.

76. Why did the boyfriend bring a blanket to the date?

To cover up his past.

77. What do boyfriends and mascara have in common?

They both run at the first sign of emotion.

78. How is a boyfriend like a microwave?

They heat up instantly and then explode when you touch them.

79. What’s the best way to keep a boyfriend from reading your texts?

Put them in a book.

80. Why did the girlfriend call her boyfriend a calendar?

He had a lot of dates.

81. How do you cure a sick boyfriend?

With a dose of Vitamin “Me.”

82. What do boyfriends and used cars have in common?

Both are easy to get, cheap, and unreliable!

83. What’s more shocking than seeing a talking dog?

A boyfriend that listens.

84. How do boyfriends do during marathons?

They never finish first.

85. What’s the best thing about having a boyfriend?

Having someone else to blame for your TV binge.

86. Why are boyfriends like cars?

They both need too much maintenance.

87. Why are boyfriends like lava lamps?

Fun to look at, but not too bright.

88. What do you call a boyfriend who apologizes after a fight?

Honest.

89. How do you know if a boyfriend is ready for marriage?

His laundry starts showing up more frequently.

90. Why did the boyfriend go to baseball?

He heard it was a hit.

91. Why are boyfriends like cars?

You have to have good insurance in case they break down.

92. What do you call a video game about dating?

“Boyfriend Simulator.”

93. Why did the boyfriend bring string to the date?

He wanted to tie up loose ends!

94. Why are boyfriends like parking spaces?

The good ones are already taken!

95. Why did the girlfriend bring a screwdriver to the date?

Because her boyfriend really knows how to screw things up!

96. Why did the boyfriend bring a ladder to the date?

He heard her standards were really high.

97. How can you tell if your boyfriend will be a good husband?

You can’t.

98. What do boyfriends and fine wine have in common?

They’re stored in the cellar.

99. Why did the boyfriend bring a ladder to the bar?

He heard the drinks were on the house.

100. Why did the boyfriend stay in the bath all day?

He had a new rubber duck.

101. Why are boyfriends like magic spells?

If you get the chant wrong, they mess up.

102. How do you keep a boyfriend from going out?

Hide his keys.

103. Why did the girlfriend sit on the newspaper?

Her boyfriend was reading her like a book!

104. How is a boyfriend like a software update?

They always pop-up when you least expect them.

105. Why don’t boyfriends do laundry?

They can’t handle the spin cycle.

106. Why don’t boyfriends make good detectives?

They can never find their girlfriend’s lipstick but can find a pub from miles away!

107. How do boyfriends exercise?

By running late.

108. Why don’t girlfriends write with dull pencils?

Because there’s no point in making a pointless argument.

109. How do you keep a boyfriend in suspense?

I’ll tell you tomorrow!

110. Why did the boyfriend study on an airplane?

He wanted his grades to soar.

111. What’s the quickest way to a man’s heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife.

112. Why did the boyfriend bring a stick to the date?

He heard it was “picking up”.

113. Why did the boyfriend study in a plane?

He wanted his grades to soar.

114. What’s a boyfriend’s favorite element?

Bromine.

115. How is a boyfriend like a lawnmower?

They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time, they don’t work.

116. Why do girlfriends make the best detectives?

Because they already know everything!

117. How do boyfriends decorate their homes?

Frat house chic.

118. Why do boyfriends bring suitcases to work?

In case they have to pack up and run!

119. How do you keep your boyfriend from reading your emails?

Rename the email folder “Instruction Manuals.”

120. How do boyfriends save their girlfriends’ numbers?

“DO NOT ANSWER.”

121. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a cat?

One is a fluff ball that scratches, and the other is a pet.

122. Why did the boyfriend bring a blanket to the park?

Because the park was full of “cool” people.

123. What do boyfriends and cell phones have in common?

They both lose energy without recharging.

124. What’s a boyfriend’s idea of multi-tasking?

Watching TV and snoring at the same time.

125. Why did the girlfriend take her boyfriend to the art exhibit?

She heard it was time he was exposed to some culture.

126. What do you call a boyfriend with a small car?

Compact.

127. Why did the boyfriend go to jail?

For stealing her heart.