Have you ever watched a goat do something completely unhinged and thought, yeah, that tracks?

Climbing a vertical rock face for no reason. Screaming at full volume like it is personally offended by Tuesday. Standing on top of another goat like that is just where goats stand. You watch it happen and the only response is to laugh, because goats operate on a logic that has nothing to do with yours and they are completely fine with that.

That energy is exactly why goat jokes work so well. Here are eighty-three of them.

Save These For

Got a friend who lives on a farm, just visited one, or follows seventeen goat accounts on Instagram? Send them one right now.

This list was made for that person. Caption your next farm visit photo with one instead of just “love these guys” because you can do better than that.

Stick one on a card for the person in your life who laughs every time a goat video comes up. You know exactly who that is.

Funny Goat Jokes

1. What’s a goat’s favorite workout?

Cardio-baaa.

2. What do you call a goat that loves to surf?

A baaa-wave rider!

3. Why are goats bad at hide and seek?

They always baaa!

4. What’s a goat’s favorite drink?

Goat’s milk, obviously!

5. How does a goat feel after a long day on the farm?

Totally baaa-zed!

6. How does a goat greet its friends?

“What’s up, kid?”

7. What do you call a goat who paints fences?

A goat-ivator.

8. Why did the goat want to be a farmer?

To get in touch with its baaa-ckground.

9. Why are goats such good neighbors?

They’re baaa-lways willing to share!

10. Why are goats good at history?

They remember every-baaa-thing.

11. What’s a goat’s favorite type of grass?

The kind with a little extra baaa-rbecue sauce.

12. What do you call a goat who studies a lot?

A baaa-ckpack scholar.

13. Why did the goat become an astronaut?

It wanted to visit the milky way!

14. What’s a goat’s favorite holiday?

Bleat-er Sunday.

15. What do you call a baby goat with big dreams?

An inspir-kid!

16. What’s a goat’s favorite superhero?

The Baaa-tman.

17. What’s a goat’s least favorite subject?

Art—they’re bad at coloring inside the baaa-lines.

18. What do you call a goat that loves books?

A baaa-rilliant reader.

19. Why did the goat get detention?

It wouldn’t stop baaa-dgering the teacher.

20. What’s a goat’s favorite kind of joke?

Anything that’s pun-derful!

21. What do you call a goat who likes fast cars?

A lamb-orghini fan!

22. What do you call a goat that loves to travel?

A globe-baaa-trotter!

23. What do you call a goat who tells tall tales?

A fib-ber!

24. Why do baby goats never get lost?

They always follow their maaa-mas!

25. What do you call a goat on a mountain?

A hill-baaa-lly!

26. What’s a goat’s favorite type of music?

Hip-hop-rah!

27. How do goats like their coffee?

With goat milk, of course.

28. What do you call a goat that goes camping?

A goat-rucker.

29. Why did the goat get an A+ in math?

It was great at baaa-ck counting!

30. What do goats say when they get hurt?

“Ow, that’s un-baaa-lievable!”

31. Why do baby goats never get bored?

They’re always up to something baaa-shful!

32. Why did the goat go to school?

To get a little edg-ucation!

33. Why are goats so good at climbing?

They don’t have time to get baaa-shful!

34. What do you call a goat who loves parties?

A baaa-lloon animal!

35. What do you call a goat in a tuxedo?

The Greatest Of All Time.

36. Why did the goat take up hiking?

It wanted to scale new heights.

37. Why did the goat go skydiving?

For the baaa-rills!

38. Why did the goat take up gardening?

It wanted to grow its own snacks.

39. What do you call a goat who’s always on time?

Punctu-baaa-l!

40. What’s a goat’s favorite movie?

The Great Baaa-sby.

41. Why are goats terrible at keeping secrets?

They always spill the baaans!

42. Why don’t goats ever get in trouble?

They always take the baaa-high road.

43. What do you call a goat on a trampoline?

A spring goat!

44. Why did the goat start a fashion line?

It wanted to make baaa-d threads!

45. What’s a goat’s favorite science experiment?

Making milkshakes!

46. Why did the goat get a fancy haircut?

To impress the ewe.

47. Why don’t baby goats ever argue?

They hate causing baaa-drama!

48. Why did the goat join the farm choir?

It had baaa-rmony!

49. Why do goats hate rainstorms?

It messes up their baaa-d hair days!

50. What do you call a lazy goat?

Billy Idol.

51. Why did the goat become an artist?

It had an eye for de-tail.

52. Why did the goat cross the road?

To prove it wasn’t chicken!

53. What’s a goat’s favorite type of hat?

A beret.

54. What do you call a goat who loves to gamble?

A high-stakes baaaa-ller!

55. What do you call a goat that knows martial arts?

Kung-fu kid.

56. What’s a kid’s favorite bedtime story?

The Goatfather.

57. What do you call a goat with no friends?

A lone-baaa-ranger.

58. Why did the goat visit the beach?

To get a little baaa-rn tan!

59. What do you call a goat who’s a teacher?

Professor Baaa-dams.

60. What’s a goat’s favorite exercise?

Cross-baaar training.

61. What do you call a goat who’s great at martial arts?

The Karate Kid.

62. What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?

Game of Bleats!

63. Why are goats bad farmers?

They can’t stop eating the evidence.

64. Why do goats hate spelling tests?

Too many baaa-ffling words!

65. What’s a goat’s favorite treat?

Baaa-nanas!

66. What do you call a goat who’s a detective?

Sherlock Bleat!

67. How do baby goats learn?

By following the baaa-dults!

68. Why do goats always look so cool?

They’ve got baaa-d vibes!

69. Why did the goat get a promotion?

It was baaa-rilliant at its job.

70. Why did the goat bring a notebook to school?

To keep track of its baaa-ffling thoughts.

71. What do you call a goat with a beard?

A baaa-rista.

72. Why did the goat get kicked out of the garden?

It kept eating all the baaa-sil!

73. Why do goats always win at poker?

They never show their baaa-nd.

74. What’s a goat’s favorite subject?

Baaa-ology.

75. Why did the goat write a book?

It wanted to share its baaa-ckstory!

76. What’s a baby goat’s favorite ice cream flavor?

Rocky Bleat!

77. What’s a kid’s favorite movie?

Nanny Goat Diaries.

78. What do you call a goat who can play the piano?

A baaa-ch prodigy.

79. Why did the goat become a lawyer?

To fight for baaa-r justice!

80. What do you call a baby goat that loves candy?

A sweet kid!

81. What’s a baby goat’s favorite game?

Hide-and-bleat!

82. What’s a goat’s favorite accessory?

A baaa-gle!

83. Why do goats make bad comedians?

Their jokes are too cheesy!

Wrapping Up

Goats do not care what anyone thinks of them and honestly that is the most admirable quality in any living thing. Pick a joke, send it, and carry that same energy into your day.