1. Why don’t Jedi use pocket calculators?

Because they always count on their force.

2. How do Tusken Raiders cheat on their taxes?

They always single file, to hide their numbers.

3. Why did the Jedi buy an iPhone?

He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.

4. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was Two-Tired; just like Luke Skywalker.

5. What kind of vehicle do Jedi drive?

Fly-walkers.

6. What’s a Jedi’s favorite toy?

A yo-yoda.

7. What do you call a Sith who works in a restaurant?

Darth Waiter.

8. What program do Jedi use to view PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi.

9. What did Obi-Wan say to Luke when he tried to eat bantha pie with a spoon?

“Use the fork, Luke.”

10. Why are Jedi so calm?

Because they don’t get Force-turbed easily.

11. What do you call five Siths piled on top of a lightsaber?

A Sith-Kabob!

12. What’s Yoda’s last name?

Layheehoo.

13. What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?

“Chewie!”

14. What do you call it when a Wookiee wins an arm wrestling match?

A foregone conclusion.

15. Why did the scarecrow become a Jedi?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

16. Why are Death Star pilots fed up with space battles?

They always end up in a TIE.

17. What do you call a Sith who won’t fight?

A Sithy.

18. Why don’t you ask Yoda for money?

Because he’s always a little short.

19. What do you call it when only one Star Wars character gives you a round of applause?

A Hand Solo.

20. What do you call a Sith who won’t fight?

Sir Render.

21. What is a stormtrooper’s favorite TV show?

Game of Clones.

22. What do you get when you cross Darth Vader with an elephant?

An Elevader.

23. Why did Kylo Ren chase Rey through the forest?

He probably saw the map to Luke.

24. Why did the movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.

25. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He could feel his presents.

26. Why did Yoda visit Bank of America?

He needed a bank clone.

27. Why can’t you give Yoda a piggyback ride?

Because he’s always a little Jedi behind.

28. How does Luke Skywalker always know what he’s getting for his birthday?

He feels his presents.

29. What do you call a Jedi who always knows the odds are in his favor?

Sure-Luke.

30. What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark side?

Vader Tots.

31. Why do Rebel pilots always carry pencils?

To draw their X-wings.

32. Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?

To get to the Dark Side.

33. Why do the Sith always shop at second-hand stores?

Because they don’t mind a little wear and Darth.

34. What do you get if you mix a bounty hunter with a tropical fruit?

Mango Fett.

35. Why was the broom late?

It over-swept, like a Jedi during meditation.

36. Why don’t you play hide and seek with Yoda?

Because good luck hiding from him, you will not.

37. What do you call a Jedi in denial?

Obi-Wan Cannot Be.

38. What do you call a Jedi who loves gardening?

A Plant Skywalker.

39. Why don’t celebrities fight each other in Star Wars?

Because they don’t want to draw too much Anakin.

40. What do you call a pirate droid?

Arr-2-D2.

41. What do you call a Mexican Jedi?

Obi-Juan Kenobi.

42. How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

43. Why was the math book sad?

Because it had too many problems, like the Galactic Senate.

44. Why did Yoda refuse to be filmed for a documentary?

Because he was camera shy!

45. What goes, “Ha, ha, ha, haaaa…. AGGGHHHH! Thump”?

An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.

46. What do you call a Sith who is caught in the rain?

A wet Sith.

47. What do you call a nervous Jedi?

Panicking Skywalker.

48. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 detour.

49. Why couldn’t Luke find Leia at first?

She was in dis-guise.

50. Why didn’t Luke Skywalker cross the road?

Because he got a bad feeling about it.

51. What’s a Rebel’s favorite TV talent show?

The X-wing Factor.

52. Why don’t you ever tell secrets on the Star Destroyer?

Because it’s full of Leias.

53. What do you call an invisible droid?

C-through-PO.

54. How do you unlock doors on Kashyyyk?

With a Woo-key.

55. What do Gungans store their food in?

Jar Jars.

56. Why did Anakin’s Skywalker coffee taste bad?

He forgot to Luke warm it.

57. Why did episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of planning, Yoda was.

58. What do you call a fight between film actors?

Star Wars.

59. What do you call it when only one Star Wars character gives a standing ovation?

A Hand Solo.

60. Why do Droids make great musicians?

Because they have built-in metronomes.

61. Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?

Because a Jedi must have patience.

62. Why was the droid angry?

People kept pushing its buttons.

63. Why is Yoda such a good gardener?

Because he has a green thumb.

64. What did Darth Vader say when he walked into a vegetarian restaurant?

“I find your lack of steak disturbing.”

65. Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing and Princess Leia in the bikini!

66. Why did the droid go to school?

To improve his R2-degrees.

67. What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly?

Game of Clones.

68. What do you call it when a TIE fighter gets angry?

A TIE tantrum.

69. What did Han Solo say to the waiter who recommended the Hoth chocolate?

“I’ll have a hot cup of Hoth, please.”

70. What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?

Lukewarm.

71. Why did Anakin start a gardening service?

Because he wanted to rake in some credits.

72. What do you call a fight between film actors?

Star wars!

73. Why did Obi-Wan have to go to music school?

To improve his Hand Solo.

74. Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

To get to the Dark Side.

75. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

76. Why did Anakin Skywalker become a chef?

Because he believed in the power of the dark roast.

77. What did the rancor say after eating a Wookiee?

It was a little Chewie.

78. Why don’t Sith lords have iPhones?

Because they can’t seem to find the home button.

79. How do Wookies like their cookies?

Chewie!

80. What do you call two suns fighting each other?

Star Wars.

81. Why did the Jedi cross the road?

To get to the Dark Side.

82. Why is a Jedi knight never lonely?

Because the force is always with him.

83. What kind of car does a Jedi drive?

A Toy-Yoda.

84. Why can’t you email a photo to a Jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden.

85. What does Kylo Ren serve at a dinner party?

First hors d’oeuvres.