1. Why was the elephant a terrible dancer?

He couldn’t find the beat with all four feet.

2. Why did the elephant refuse to share his dessert?

He was afraid of losing his peanut butter pie!

3. Why do elephants hate running marathons?

They always get trunk cramps.

4. What’s grey and goes round and round?

An elephant stuck in a revolving door.

5. Why did the elephant sit on a marshmallow?

So he wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate.

6. Why do elephants drink so much water?

To stay hydrated after all their heavy lifting.

7. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?

Irrelephant.

8. Why don’t elephants like fast food?

They can’t catch it!

9. What’s an elephant’s least favorite dessert?

Anything without peanuts.

10. What do elephants and trees have in common?

They both have trunks.

11. What do you call an elephant in a bathtub?

A big splash.

12. What do you call an elephant that likes to play basketball?

A dunkophant!

13. Why was the elephant always calm?

Because he didn’t want to blow his trunk!

14. What did the elephant say to the naked man?

“How do you breathe through that tiny thing?”

15. What did the elephant say to the peanut butter jar?

“I’m nuts about you!”

16. What do elephants sing at Christmas?

“Tusk the Halls!”

17. What do you call an elephant with lots of energy?

A hyper-phant!

18. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a computer?

A big memory drive!

19. Why are elephants bad dancers?

Because they have two left feet!

20. Why did the elephant paint his ears green?

To blend in with the jungle!

21. How does an elephant get out of a tree?

It sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.

22. What’s grey, big, and has a trunk full of candy?

An elephant on Halloween.

23. What did the elephant say when he stubbed his toe?

“Tusk it!”

24. Why did the elephant bring a ladder to the bar?

He heard the drinks were on the house.

25. What do elephants do when they go on vacation?

They pack their trunks!

26. Why do elephants never use headphones?

They’ve got their own surround sound.

27. What’s an elephant’s favorite kind of cookie?

Jumbo-sized chocolate chip!

28. Why was the baby elephant so good at math?

He had a great memory for numbers!

29. How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away its credit card!

30. Why don’t elephants like playing cards?

Because they’re afraid of the cheetahs!

31. Why don’t elephants use elevators?

They prefer the tusk stairs.

32. What’s an elephant’s favorite game?

Squash!

33. What do elephants do when they’re bored?

They throw a trunk party!

34. Why did the elephant join the circus?

Because he wanted to be the big top!

35. Why do elephants never get lost?

They always have their trunks packed.

36. How do elephants swim in the ocean?

With their trunks as snorkels.

37. Why don’t elephants like playing hide and seek?

Because they always get spotted.

38. Why don’t elephants play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs!

39. How do elephants keep in touch?

They use their ele-phone!

40. Why did the elephant quit his job?

He couldn’t handle the peanuts.

41. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato?

Mashed potatoes with a ton of gravy!

42. What do you call an elephant that writes books?

An ele-author!

43. Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?

To hide in the cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Works, doesn’t it?

44. How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator?

Open the door and push him in!

45. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence!

46. What did the elephant wear to the pool party?

His swim-trunks!

47. What do you call an elephant with no ears?

Anything you want—it can’t hear you!

48. What’s grey and not there?

No elephants.

49. Why are elephants so rich?

Because they always find peanuts in their savings!

50. Why do elephants have wrinkles?

Have you ever tried ironing one?

51. What do you call an elephant who tells jokes?

A stand-up trunk comedian.

52. Why did the elephant cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

53. How do you know an elephant’s been in your fridge?

Footprints in the butter!

54. What do elephants use to brush their teeth?

Their tusk paste.

55. What do you call an elephant that loves to bowl?

An alley-phant!

56. Why don’t elephants use public transportation?

Because they love to pack their own trunk!

57. What do elephants wear to keep warm?

Trunk sweaters.

58. What do you call two elephants talking?

A heavy discussion.

59. Why did the elephant take a nap?

He was tired of carrying the weight of the world.

60. Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the zoo?

He wanted to pack his trunk!

61. Why do elephants never use computers?

They’re afraid of the mouse!

62. Why do elephants never forget?

Because they don’t trust sticky notes.

63. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

Elephino (hell if I know)!

64. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck!

65. What do you call an elephant that flies?

A jumbo jet!

66. What do elephants do on their days off?

Just trunk around!

67. Why do elephants paint their toenails different colors?

To hide in crayon boxes!

68. How do you make an elephant float?

Add root beer and ice cream!

69. What’s the elephant’s favorite color?

Gray-vy.

70. What’s an elephant’s favorite type of exercise?

Weight-lifting—literally!

71. What’s an elephant’s favorite bedtime story?

“Dumbo’s Big Adventure.”

72. How do elephants travel long distances?

On their jumbo jets.

73. Why do elephants wear sunglasses?

So no one recognizes them at the zoo!

74. How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

75. Why did the elephant go to school?

To learn how to carry a ton of knowledge.

76. What’s an elephant’s favorite instrument?

The trunk-et.

77. How do you fit four elephants in a Mini Cooper?

Two in the front, two in the back.