1. What’s a fart’s favorite weather?

A little gusty.

2. Why did the fart get a promotion?

It was outstanding in its field.

3. Why don’t farts play baseball?

They always miss their pitch.

4. Why did the fart go on a diet?

It wanted to clear the air.

5. What do you get when you eat beans and soda?

A foamy fart.

6. Why do farts love adventure?

They’re always up in the air.

7. Why did the fart take the elevator?

To lift spirits.

8. What do you tell someone who says they don’t fart?

Stop lying and let it rip!

9. What did one fart say to the other?

“Do you smell competition?”

10. What do you call a cold, Arctic fart?

A frostbutt.

11. What’s a fart’s favorite game?

Butt, Butt, Goose.

12. Why was the fart afraid of the truth?

Because it didn’t want to come out.

13. How do you describe a fart that doesn’t smell?

A ghost poop.

14. What do farts do when they’re alone?

They let loose.

15. What’s a polite word for a fart?

A wind whisper.

16. What do you get when you eat refried beans and onions?

Tear gas.

17. What do you call a fart that’s smart?

A tutor.

18. Why did the fart break up with the burp?

It needed more space.

19. Why don’t farts work at the bank?

They always let it rip.

20. Why was the teacher scared of the fart?

It was too loud and clear.

21. Why are farts like illegal parking?

They both get caught sooner or later.

22. Why was the fart acting arrogant?

It thought it was a blast.

23. How do you know when a fart is done?

It clears the room.

24. Why are farts like vaporware?

Often promised but rarely delivered.

25. What’s a fart’s life motto?

“If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

26. Why did the fart read a book?

To stop being so ignoble.

27. What do farts wear to a wedding?

Suit and toot.

28. Why did the fart feel guilty?

It passed in a no-passing zone.

29. What do you call a fart that can rap?

A butt beat.

30. What’s a fart’s favorite market activity?

A blowout sale.

31. Why are farts like backup singers?

They always come in behind the lead.

32. How do you put a fart in a lockbox?

You bottle it up.

33. Why do farts always seem to happen at the worst times?

They like to make a big stink.

34. Why are farts bad at math?

They can’t count their numbers without making a noise.

35. What’s a ninja’s favorite type of fart?

Silent but deadly.

36. What do you call a group of musical farts?

A wind band.

37. Why did the fart start a podcast?

It had good air time.

38. Why did the fart go to therapy?

It needed to be de-gassed.

39. How do farts write letters?

With a pen and stink.

40. Why don’t farts make good musicians?

They always blow the wrong horn.

41. What’s a romantic fart’s favorite line?

“You blow me away.”

42. What happens when you fart in church?

You sit in your own pew.

43. Why do farts hate classical music?

Too much sheet music.

44. How do farts stay fit?

By doing squats.

45. Why are farts like art?

Everyone has an opinion about them.

46. What’s a fart’s favorite movie genre?

Comedy—because it’s always cracking up!

47. How do you capture a fart?

Trick question; you can’t catch the wind!

48. Why are farts like vapor?

They vanish into thin air.

49. What do you get if you cross a fart with a dessert?

A whoopie cushion.

50. What’s the most embarrassing thing about farting in public?

The smell-fie.

51. What’s a bookworm’s favorite type of fart?

A silent but deadly read.

52. Why don’t farts make good actors?

They always play the butt of the joke.

53. Why did the fart go to jail?

It was caught breaking wind!

54. How do farts escape?

They find the path of yeast resistance.

55. What kind of vehicle does a fart drive?

A wind-van.

56. What’s a fart’s favorite way to travel?

Air mail.

57. What do you call a fart that does yoga?

A wind-relieving pose.

58. What’s a fart’s favorite dance move?

The toot-step.

59. Why do farts make terrible confessions?

They stink up the place.

60. Why did the fart go to the party?

To raise a stink.

61. Why don’t farts make good secrets?

They always come out.

62. How do you know if a fart is rich?

It has more scents.

63. Why are farts rebellious?

They don’t like to be silenced.

64. Why did the fart go to school?

To improve its circulation.

65. Why did the fart lose the race?

It ran out of gas.

66. Why did the fart apply for a job?

It felt it was time to be productive.

67. Why do farts stink?

So that deaf people can enjoy them too!

68. Why was the fart so polite?

It always knew when to blow off.

69. What do you call a fart in a French restaurant?

A soufflé.

70. What’s invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts.

71. Why are farts like letters?

They both have postscripts.

72. Why did the fart lose at poker?

It couldn’t keep a straight face.

73. What do you call someone who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

74. Why don’t farts make good air fresheners?

They’re not scent-sible.

75. Why did the fart hesitate to enter the room?

It didn’t want to make a scene.

76. Why don’t farts make good detectives?

They always blow their cover.

77. What did the old fart say?

“Back in my day, we had more class!”

78. Why don’t farts ever get lost?

They always follow the wind!

79. How do you stop a fart from smelling?

Plug your nose.