1. What do you get when you cross cheese with a bear?

Camem-bear.

2. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese!

3. Why did the cheese look pale?

It felt a bit feta.

4. What did the motivational cheese say?

You can brie whatever you want to brie.

5. What do you call a cheese that likes to swing?

Pepper-jack.

6. What did the cheese say when it got its picture taken?

“People think I’m a muenster.”

7. What cheese is always ready to say hello and goodbye?

Havarti.

8. What did the cheese salesman say?

“That’s grate, but let’s make it feta!”

9. What did the secretive cheese say?

“I’ll never Swiss and tell.”

10. What do you call an angry cheese?

Fuming cheese.

11. What type of cheese do you use to disguise a small horse?

Mascarpone.

12. Why don’t cheeses get along?

Because they’re too sharp with each other.

13. What did the slice of cheese say to the police officer?

“I was framed, I tell ya!”

14. How does a cheese flirt?

It tries to be extra sharp.

15. Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?

It had grater plans.

16. Why did the wheel of cheese quit its job?

It wanted to go on a Roquefort.

17. Why did the cheese meditate?

To find inner peas.

18. Why did the cheese lose at poker?

Because it threw in its hand too soon.

19. Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday?

Because of Baby Cheesus.

20. What happens when cheese gets its photo taken?

It says “Bries!”

21. What type of cheese is made backward?

Edam.

22. Why did the cheese look worried?

Because it had too much on its plate.

23. What did the romantic cheese say?

Brie mine.

24. Why was the cheese so smart?

It was really sharp.

25. Why don’t cheeses perform well in school?

Because they’re too cultured.

26. Why did the cheese smile?

It was feeling grate.

27. Why was the cheese actor so good?

Because it knew how to milk every scene.

28. Why did the cheese visit his psychiatrist?

It was feeling crumbly and blue.

29. What’s a monster’s favorite cheese?

Monsterella.

30. What did the cheese say in the mirror?

Halloumi!

31. Why don’t cheeses like to party?

They’re not grate at social melting.

32. What do you call an explosive cheese?

Dynamite (Dyna-mite).

33. What do you call an artistic cheese?

Mozz-art.

34. Why don’t cheeses sleep well?

Too much tossing and turning.

35. What happens when you go on a diet?

You de-brie your fridge of cheese.

36. What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

Halloumi!

37. Why did the cheese go to jail?

It was up to no Gouda.

38. What do you call a cheese that’s a magician?

David Copperfield.

39. Why are cheeses great for trick-or-treating?

They come in little wrappers.

40. Why do cheeses make terrible comedians?

Their jokes are too cheesy.

41. What’s a cheese’s favorite kind of boat?

The Swiss Cheese boat.

42. Why did the cheese go to the moon?

Because it wanted to find a greater space.

43. How do you compliment a cheese sculptor?

“You did a Gouda job!”

44. Why was the cheese movie so successful?

It was truly legend-dairy.

45. Why did the cheese go to art class?

To get better at drawing mold.

46. Why did the cheese stop playing poker?

It ran out of cheddar.

47. What’s a cheese’s favorite magazine?

Cosmopoli-grate.

48. Why did the cheese stop playing cards?

Because it always got cut.

49. What do you call a cheese with curly hair?

Perm-esan.

50. How did the cheese paint its wife?

With a double Gloucester.

51. Why was the cheese so broke?

Because it was bar-brie-d in debt.

52. How do you describe an amazing cheese?

It’s un-brie-lievable.

53. What did the cheese yell when it scored a goal?

“Goaaaaaal-ouda!”

54. Why did the cheese look different?

It was incog-neato.

55. What do you call cheese that’s sad?

Blue cheese.

56. What do you call a cheese that is sad?

Blue cheese.

57. Why did the cheese lose a fight with a knife?

Because it had too many holes.

58. How do you get a mouse to smile?

Say cheese!

59. Why did the piece of cheese break up with the sandwich?

Because it needed some space to grow mold.

60. What did the cheese say when it got to the party?

“I’m here to turn up the Brie!”

61. Why was the cheese late?

It had too much on its plate.

62. Why do cheeses love mirrors?

They like to see themselves brie-ing.

63. What kind of music does cheese listen to?

R’n’Brie.

64. What’s a cheese’s favorite type of story?

A cheesy one.

65. What cheese is made from cow hide?

Leather cheese.

66. What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that’s all up in your face?

Too close for comfort food.

67. What do you call it when cheese falls down?

Fondue!

68. What do you call cheese by itself?

Provolone.

69. What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese?

Gorgonzilla.

70. How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.

71. What’s a pirate’s favorite cheese?

Ched-AARR!

72. Why don’t cheeses sweat in the gym?

They stay cool in the heat and never melt under pressure.

73. What do you call an indecisive cheese?

Maybe Brie.

74. What cheese can you lure a bear with?

Camembert (Come on bear!).

75. How did the cheese confess its love?

“I’m feta up with hiding my feelings!”

76. What cheese can never be yours?

Nacho cheese.

77. How do you describe a cheesy road joke?

It’s a bit cheddar than the last one.

78. What did the mom cheese tell the kid cheese?

It’s pasture bedtime!

79. Why did the cheese cry during the movie?

It was a melting drama.

80. What do you call a cheese that’s under surveillance?

Watched cheese.

81. What did the cheese say to its friend after a makeover?

Looking Gouda!

82. Why did the cheese study in Egypt?

It heard about the Pyramids of Giza.

83. Why did the cheese cross the road?

To prove it wasn’t chicken.