1. What’s an optimistic vampire’s favorite season?

Fangsgiving.

2. What did one autumn leaf say to another?

I’m falling for you.

3. What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a pumpkin?

A howl-o’-lantern!

4. Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because it’s too far to waddle.

5. Why don’t ghosts like rain?

It dampens their spirits.

6. Why do birds fly south in the fall?

Because it’s too far to walk.

7. Why did the tree take a nap?

For rest.

8. What did the oak tree say when autumn came?

I’m falling for you.

9. How does a leaf get to another branch?

It takes the foliage.

10. Why did summer catch autumn?

Because autumn is fall.

11. Why do trees always know the latest gossip?

They hear it on the vine.

12. What did the tree wear to the pool party?

Swimming trunks!

13. What happens when winter arrives?

Autumn leaves!

14. Why are trees so carefree and easygoing?

Because in autumn, they let things go.

15. Why do leaves look forward to autumn?

Because it’s finally time to leave.

16. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

17. Why don’t trees ever get lost in the forest?

Because autumn leaves a path.

18. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?

Straw-berries.

19. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite food?

Hay fries.

20. Why do birds fly south in the fall?

Because it’s faster than walking!

21. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?

Squash.

22. Why don’t mummies take time off?

They’re afraid to unwind.

23. Why was the vegetable scared to speak?

It was a little acorn-y.

24. Why did the tree worry that it would never get its leaves back after autumn?

Because it was worried it couldn’t re-leaf itself.

25. What do you call a pretty pumpkin?

Gourd-geous.

26. Why don’t trees ever get lost?

Because autumn leaves a trail.

27. What did the big flower say to the little one?

Hey, bud, when you gonna leaf?

28. Why do pumpkins sit on porches?

They have no hands to knock on the door.

29. What kind of key opens a banana?

A monkey!

30. What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the pie?

You’re crusty!

31. Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?

It had no guts!

32. How do you know that a vampire loves baseball?

Every night he turns into a bat.

33. What do trees do after school?

Their homewoak.

34. Why was the math book sad in autumn?

Because it had too many problems.

35. Why did the leaf go to the doctor?

It was feeling green.

36. What’s the best thing to put into a pie?

Your teeth!

37. Why did the vine go to the doctor?

It was feeling grape!

38. What did one leaf say to the other leaf?

Don’t go, I’m falling for you!

39. What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula.

40. What do you call a tree that doubts fall is coming?

A skeptic.

41. What’s the most musical part of a turkey?

The drumstick.

42. Why did the pumpkin win so many awards?

Because it was out-standing in its field!

43. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?

Straw-berries!

44. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

45. What did the tree say after a long winter?

What a re-leaf!

46. What do you get if you drop a pumpkin?

Squash.

47. What’s an insect’s favorite sport?

Cricket, but they fall for football.

48. What did the leaf say to autumn?

You’re beautiful and all, but can you leaf me alone now?

49. What did one leaf say to another?

I’m falling for you.

50. Why did the scarecrow become a successful actor?

Because he knew how to play the field.

51. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 detour.

52. What happens when winter comes?

Autumn leaves!

53. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have the guts.

54. What’s the ratio of a jack-o’-lantern’s circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

55. What’s the cutest season?

Awww-tumn!

56. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?

He had no body to go with him.

57. How do you repair a broken jack-o-lantern?

Use a pumpkin patch!

58. Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker?

Because he was great at straw-vating people.

59. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

60. Why are pumpkins terrible liars?

You can see right through them.

61. What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?

A pumpkin patch.

62. What did one leaf say to the other?

I’m falling for you.

63. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin π (pi).

64. Why did the pumpkin coach hire the scarecrow?

Because he was good in the field!

65. Why did the tree worry it wouldn’t get its leaves back after fall?

It couldn’t re-leaf itself.

66. Why did the pumpkin turn red?

It saw the salad dressing!

67. What did one autumn leaf say to another?

“I’m falling for you.”

68. What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream.

69. Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?

It had no guts.

70. Why are trees so carefree and easy going?

Because every fall, they let loose.

71. Why are trees so good at knitting?

They always drop their needles.

72. Why did the leaf get a job?

To make some green.

73. Why are trees so forgiving?

Because in the fall, they “let it go.”

74. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?

A plumpkin.

75. Why did the apple pie cry?

Its peelings were hurt.

76. Why did the tree worry about being alone in winter?

It was afraid it couldn’t re-leaf itself.

77. Why don’t trees ever get cold?

They have plenty of bark.

78. What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?

A life-gourd.

79. Why do trees hate tests?

Because they get stumped by the questions.

80. Why did the scarecrow become a motivational speaker?

He was great at straw-vating people!

81. Why are trees very forgiving?

Every Fall, they “let it go.”

82. Why did the pumpkin sit on people’s porches?

It was trying to squash them.

83. What reads and lives in an apple?

A bookworm.

84. Why don’t leaves ever get lost?

Because autumn always leaves a trail.

85. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch!

86. How do leaves get from place to place?

With autumn-mobiles.

87. What did the leaf go to school for?

To get to the root of things.

88. Why did the leaf go to the doctor?

It was feeling a bit pale.

89. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Squash.

90. Why do leaves hate moving?

Because they dread raking all their belongings.

91. What happens when you’re alone and you get too scared in a cornfield?

Corn-ophobia.

92. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?

Your teeth.

93. What did the tree say to autumn?

Leaf me alone.

94. What did the little tree say to the big tree?

Leaf me alone!

95. What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the pumpkin?

Cut it out!

96. What falls in autumn but never gets hurt?

The temperature.

97. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!