1. Why don’t families fight on Thanksgiving?

They just let it gravy.

2. What’s a pie’s favorite workout?

Rolling!

3. Why did the turkey cross the road?

It was Thanksgiving, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!

4. What do you call a rude pumpkin?

A squash-tastrophe!

5. What’s a turkey’s favorite football position?

Wingback.

6. What sound does a turkey’s phone make?

Wing, wing!

7. What did the apple pie say to the pumpkin pie?

“You’re filling me with envy!”

8. What do you call a turkey that loves the gym?

A muscle-bird!

9. Why don’t turkeys play baseball?

They hit too many fowl balls.

10. What’s a corn’s favorite dessert?

Cornbread pudding.

11. What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

The tur-key!

12. What’s the most mathematical part of Thanksgiving?

Pumpkin pi.

13. Why do pumpkins never argue?

They squash their beef.

14. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?

Lucky.

15. What did the gravy say to the mashed potatoes?

“Let’s get together and mix things up.”

16. Why was the Thanksgiving football game so intense?

It was all about the stuffing!

17. What do you call a running turkey?

Fast food.

18. Why do pumpkins sit out at Thanksgiving dinner?

Because they’re the pie-oneers.

19. What’s a pilgrim’s favorite kind of music?

Folk.

20. Why did the cornfield tell secrets?

It had hushed tones.

21. Why did Grandma get run over by the turkey?

She didn’t stop when it said, “Gobble, gobble!”

22. Why did the kids bring crayons to Thanksgiving dinner?

To color the turkey!

23. Why did the corn go to the movies?

To see a-maize-ing films.

24. Why did the cranberry go to school?

It wanted to be a little sharper!

25. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving dinner?

“I’m feeling gourd-geous!”

26. Why was the corn so proud?

It was stalk-ing up compliments.

27. Why did Grandpa fall asleep after Thanksgiving dinner?

He was on turkey time!

28. What do turkeys use to fix their feathers?

A feather duster.

29. Why did the pie bring a ladder to Thanksgiving dinner?

It wanted to get to the upper crust.

30. Why did the chef go broke?

Because they ran out of thyme.

31. Why did the turkey sit at the kids’ table?

It didn’t want to get roasted!

32. How does a pumpkin clean its house?

With a squash mop.

33. What’s a pilgrim’s favorite dance?

The Mashed Potato.

34. What did the corn say when it was complimented?

“Aw, shucks!”

35. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?

It had 24 carrots.

36. Why did the turkey join the football team?

It had drumsticks!

37. How do pilgrims keep their pants up?

With Puritan belts.

38. Why did the turkey get detention?

It was caught pecking on the teacher’s desk!

39. Why do turkeys never go out in the rain?

They hate getting their feathers wet!

40. What’s a turkey’s favorite type of joke?

Anything corny!

41. Why did the uncle bring a ladder to Thanksgiving?

He heard it was going to be a high-stakes meal!

42. What do you call an aunt who tells bad Thanksgiving jokes?

Pun-kin pie.

43. What kind of tan did pilgrims get?

Puritan!

44. Why did the corn refuse to share?

It was acting corn-y!

45. What’s a potato’s least favorite day?

Fry-day!

46. Why did the turkey bring a microphone to dinner?

It wanted to give a roast performance.

47. How do you make a turkey float?

Add root beer, ice cream, and a turkey.

48. What do you call a group of argumentative turkeys?

A squabble.

49. Why didn’t the stuffing get dessert?

It was already stuffed.

50. Why did the pumpkin pie refuse to play football?

It couldn’t handle the pressure.

51. Why was the corn so popular at Thanksgiving?

It was a-maize-ing!

52. Why didn’t the pilgrims tell secrets in the cornfield?

There were too many ears.

53. Why did the cranberry turn red?

Because it saw the turkey dressing!

54. What did the knife say to the turkey?

“Let’s carve out some time together!”

55. What did the sweet potato say to the butter?

“I’m yam-tastic!”

56. Why did the cranberry sauce refuse to play football?

It didn’t want to get squashed!

57. What’s the best thing to wear to a Thanksgiving football game?

A gravy jersey.

58. Why did the football coach go to Thanksgiving dinner?

To tackle the turkey.

59. Why don’t turkeys ever tell secrets?

They’re afraid they’ll gobble them up.

60. What’s a turkey’s favorite football move?

The gobble-and-go.

61. Why was the corn so good at telling jokes?

It was all ears.

62. What do you call a pilgrim’s vocabulary?

Pilgrammar.

63. What do you call a fumble at Thanksgiving?

A gravy spill.

64. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi!

65. What’s the best part about Thanksgiving with your family?

No one judges you for eating pie for breakfast.

66. What do you say when the turkey tells a joke?

“You’re cracking me up!”

67. What do you call Thanksgiving in space?

Grav-ity day!

68. Why didn’t the turkey eat dessert?

It was already stuffed.

69. What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?

Peach gobbler!

70. Why do turkeys always go to bed early?

They don’t want to get roasted.

71. What do pilgrims use to fix their pants?

A pilgrim-edge.

72. What kind of music did the pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock!

73. Why don’t pies ever get into fights?

They’re sweet enough already.

74. Why didn’t the corn make it to Thanksgiving?

It got creamed!

75. What’s the best dance move at Thanksgiving dinner?

The Mashed Potato!

76. Why did the pilgrims land on Plymouth Rock?

Because they couldn’t find a parking spot.

77. What’s a Thanksgiving tradition in every family?

Eating too much and then blaming the turkey.

78. What do you call a corn stalk that tells jokes?

A stand-up stalk.

79. What do you call it when you drop a turkey in mashed potatoes?

A turkey smash.

80. Why was the Thanksgiving feast so relaxing?

It was a no-stress-ing.

81. Why do dads love Thanksgiving jokes?

They’re corny, just like the meal.

82. Why did the turkey bring a ladder?

To reach the dressing!

83. What’s a quarterback’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?

Pass-ta.

84. What’s a corn’s favorite band?

Korn.

85. What did the turkey say to the ham?

“Quit hogging the spotlight!”

86. Why did the pilgrim eat a candle?

He wanted a light snack.

87. Why did the Thanksgiving parade get canceled?

Someone let the stuffing out!

88. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?

Squash!

89. What did the turkey say to the computer?

“Google, google, google!”

90. What’s a turkey’s favorite type of weather?

Fowl-weather.