1. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself.
2. How do turkeys argue?
They throw around a lot of “fowl” language.
3. Why did the turkey eat his meal so quickly?
Because he was a “gobble-et”!
4. Why was the Thanksgiving turkey the drummer in the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
5. What did the turkey say to the computer?
“Google, google.”
6. Why did the turkey cross the table?
To get to the other thigh.
7. Why did the turkey cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
8. Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To hatchet.
9. What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common?
They both get stuffed!
10. Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.
11. Why did the turkey play drums in his band?
Because he already had drumsticks!
12. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock.
13. What’s a turkey’s least favorite weather?
Fowl weather.
14. Why did the turkey refuse to take a nap?
It didn’t want to be caught sleeping on the job.
15. What’s a turkey’s favorite instrument?
The drumsticks, of course!
16. Why don’t turkeys use iPhones?
They love Android—less chance of becoming an Apple pie.
17. What do you call a stuffed animal?
A turkey!
18. Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove it wasn’t chicken.
19. Why was the turkey asked to join the band?
He had the chops for it.
20. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.
21. What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
22. What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving!
23. What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The tur-key.
24. What did the turkey say to the hunter?
“Go ahead, make my gravy!”
25. Why do turkeys lay eggs?
If they dropped them, they’d break!
26. Why did the turkey salad cost so much at Thanksgiving?
It was prime poultry.
27. What’s an optimistic turkey’s favorite tune?
“Don’t Worry, Be Gobble.”
28. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
“Quack, quack!”
29. Why did the turkey refuse to eat dessert?
He was stuffed.
30. Why did the turkey bring a microphone to dinner?
It wanted to gobble loud!
31. Why did the turkey get into trouble at school?
It used fowl language.
32. Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
33. Why did the turkey refuse to play cards?
It was afraid of losing its giblets.
34. Why did the turkey refuse dessert?
It was already stuffed.
35. Why did the turkey break up with the scarecrow?
It only wanted him for his brain!
36. Why did the turkey refuse to eat on Thanksgiving?
It was trying to quit “cold turkey.”
37. Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkey dressing!
38. What do you call a turkey on Thanksgiving?
The guest of honor.
39. What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler.
40. How can you make a turkey float?
You need two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey.
41. What’s a turkey’s favorite cereal?
Gobble Crisp.
42. How did the turkey fix its broken leg?
With poultry tape.
43. What do turkeys write with?
Feather pens!
44. Why did the turkey refuse to eat corn?
Because it was on a pecking diet.
45. Why don’t you let a turkey get near the corn?
Because they’ll gobble, gobble, gobble it up!
46. What do you call a turkey after Thanksgiving?
Lucky if he’s still around!
47. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
48. Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
49. Why do turkeys always say “gobble gobble”?
Because they never learned to say “Excuse me.”
50. Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To try to hatchet.
51. What do you call a group of turkeys?
A gobble-gang.
52. What do you call it when a turkey drops his dinner?
A fowl ball.
53. What’s a turkey’s favorite board game?
Fowl-play.
54. What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler.
55. Why did the turkey join a band?
It had the drumsticks.
56. Why did the turkey join a band?
Because it had its own drumsticks!
57. How do you send a turkey through the mail?
Bird class!
58. What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
Fowl weather.
59. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?
Lucky.
60. What happened to the turkey who fought the computer?
It got its “bytes”!
61. Why don’t turkeys ever get lost?
They believe in “fowl”-lowing directions!
62. What’s a turkey’s favorite type of movie?
Anything with a good “peck” on the cheek.
63. What do you call a turkey with a carrot in each ear?
Anything you want—it can’t hear you.
64. What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving?
The luckiest bird alive!
65. What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?
Have peck-nics!
66. Why do turkeys always go, ‘gobble, gobble’?
Because they never learned good table manners!
67. What’s a turkey’s favorite black-tie event?
The Butter Ball.
68. Why do turkeys gobble?
Because they never learned to speak clearly!
69. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
“You missed!”
70. What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll!
71. What’s a turkey’s favorite dance move?
The stuffing shuffle.
72. What’s a turkey’s favorite Thanksgiving food?
Nothing—it’s already stuffed.
73. What did the turkey tell the other turkeys?
“Stick with me, and you’ll go places!”
74. Why did the turkey get in trouble at school?
For using “fowl” language!
75. Why do turkeys always gobble?
They never learned table manners!
76. What’s a turkey’s favorite type of music?
Drum and Bass.
77. Why are turkeys such bad baseball players?
They always hit fowl balls.