1. What do you call a baby cat on the beach?

Sandy claws!

2. Why did the cat break up with its partner?

It felt smothered—too much purr-sonal space was needed!

3. How do cats travel?

By purr-plane.

4. What’s a kitten’s favorite game?

Purr-suit of happiness.

5. What do cats call their will?

A fur-tunate document.

6. What do you call a cat who’s great at sales?

A paw-suasive closer.

7. What do you call a cat wearing shoes?

Puss in Boots!

8. Why did the cat eat a lightbulb?

It wanted a light snack!

9. What do cats drink at parties?

Purr-secco!

10. How do cats spend their ninth life?

Doing whatever they claw-want!

11. What’s a cat’s favorite vacation spot?

Cat-alonia.

12. Why did the cat get a job?

To support its paw-shy lifestyle!

13. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

14. Why was the cat always happy?

It was feline fine!

15. Why did the cat get kicked out of school?

It was a copy-cat.

16. What do you call a big pile of cats?

A claw-some gathering.

17. Why was the cat so good at video games?

It had nine lives!

18. What’s a cat’s favorite profession?

Purr-suing law.

19. What’s a cat’s pick-up line?

“Are you fur real?”

20. Why did the cat become a scientist?

It wanted to purr-sue knowledge.

21. How do kittens take their coffee?

With a lot of purrs and cream.

22. What do you call a cat magician?

Purr-sto chango!

23. Why don’t cats ever take naps at work?

Because they’re already the boss.

24. Why do cats hate Valentine’s Day?

Too much fur-mality!

25. What do cats call a romantic date?

A purr-fect evening.

26. How do cats celebrate Christmas?

With Santa Claws.

27. Why did the cat quit its job?

It felt claw-strophobic.

28. What do you call a cat in space?

An astro-cat.

29. Why do cats love Instagram?

Because they’re always ready to strike a paw-s!

30. Why did the cat get detention?

It was being a little too catty!

31. What’s a cat’s favorite fast food?

Kitty nuggets.

32. What do you call a cat who loves to eat lemons?

A sourpuss!

33. What’s a cat’s favorite song?

Three Blind Mice.

34. Why did the cat join a dating site?

It was feline lonely.

35. What’s a cat’s biggest fear?

Running out of lives during a game of truth or claw!

36. How do cats write emails?

With paw-scripts.

37. What do you call a cat on a hot day?

A paw-sicle!

38. Why did the kitten start a blog?

To share its paw-sitive vibes.

39. What do kittens wear to bed?

Paw-jamas.

40. Why don’t cats like loud noises?

They can’t handle the purr-essure.

41. What’s a kitten’s favorite movie?

The Great Catsby.

42. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?

Mice cream!

43. What’s a cat’s favorite vegetable?

As-purr-agus!

44. How do cats show they care?

They knead you!

45. What do you call a kitten with a great sense of humor?

A stand-up cat-median!

46. Why are cats bad at storytelling?

They only have one tail!

47. Why do cats always land on their feet?

They’re paws-itively balanced.

48. What’s a cat’s favorite color?

Purr-ple!

49. What’s a cat’s favorite TV show?

Claw & Order!

50. Why do cats always get their way?

They’re purr-suasive!

51. How do cats flirt?

They give a little purr-suasion!

52. Why don’t cats get into messy relationships?

They always land on their feet.

53. What’s a cat’s favorite exercise?

Purr-lates!

54. What do cats love to read?

Meow-moirs.

55. Why did the cat love milk so much?

It was in its dairy DNA!

56. Why don’t cats ever use social media?

They can’t handle the mouse drama.

57. Why don’t cats need insurance?

They’ve got nine lives to spare!

58. What’s a cat’s least favorite relationship status?

It’s complicated.

59. Why are kittens always so calm?

They just cat-nap all day!

60. How do cats do their taxes?

With claw-culators.

61. What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?

Good Mousekeeping.

62. What do you call a cat who loves math?

A purr-fessor.

63. What do you call a pile of kittens?

A meow-tain!

64. What’s a cat’s favorite love song?

“Meow You Need Somebody to Love.”

65. What do you call a cat that loves lasagna?

Purr-garfield!

66. What’s a cat’s favorite breakfast?

Meow-sli.

67. How do cats keep their fur in place?

They use claw clips.

68. Why did the cat sit on the computer?

To keep an eye on the mouse!

69. What’s a kitten’s favorite app?

Meow-ssenger.

70. Why did the kitten refuse to play with yarn?

It didn’t want to get tied up!

71. What do you call a cat that’s a great singer?

Cat-ny Perry.

72. Why don’t cats eat clowns?

They taste funny.

73. How do cats end a fight?

They hiss and make up!

74. What’s a cat’s favorite type of fish?

A catfish!

75. What’s a cat’s favorite office supply?

Purr-manent markers.